Alone.

No one likes being alone. whether it be alone at home, single, or just alone in life.
I think we all feel like we're on our own in the world some days especially when we are faced with a difficult situation. As an adolescent, some days my head feels like it's in this permanent mental fog. It seems like the world is throwing so much at us at once. At some times i just want to lay in bed all day and watch the clouds pass by from my window.
(and sometimes i really do)
I feel bored in life most of the time. Life right now just isn't taking me into a direction that's very exciting. I want to get out and experience new things, Be somewhere else, far from my humdrum town, just to feel what's it's like to be in someone completely different's shoes for a small amount of time. I'd like to get out of the same routine and break the habit of following that routine.
I want to just grow up so i can do more and have more freedom to do what i like. But when i look at it, the amount of misfortune society can cause is incredible. It scares me, kind of makes me want to live under my father's roof forever.
It's when these thoughts are running through my mind, that i begin to fear being alone. It's one thing that i haven't ever dealt with well. Even as a little kid, I never liked being alone. I was that stereotypical child that rather sleep in mommy and daddy's bed than my own. Even now being left home alone makes me uneasy and I don't rest well until i know everything is in right order. Also Like every girl, I want to have a healthy relationship with someone who can make me laugh when i'm down, hold my hand when the going gets rough, and stay up late talking about everything and anything. I don't think it's asking for too much, I don't need some kind of handsome man who can sweet talk me to no end. (although cheesy pick-up lines are the best) But even though I'm only 15, knowing there's a guy out there who will hold me and cares for me is just one of the most comforting feelings. Even if he's not right beside me at some times, I'm still at ease knowing there is someone.
Having a boyfriend older than you during high school is difficult though. You know it most likely won't last. When he gets out of school and goes to college or even starts working full time, the only thing you can do is just hope that the feelings you have for one another will work like glue and hold you together when  big changes begin happening. Although when I'm thinking about this i wonder if I will ever be with anyone else, and what they'll be like. But when I take a look into society I don't see many respectable male figures, who don't drink, do drugs or are just complete pigs. There are the select few who you'll meet who are truly decent people, but coming across them seems to be nearly impossible nowadays.