I hope i hope I am not losing my writing motivation.
Life is progressing, in a positive way! Recently I was left with anxiety and fear of being hurt with my last relationship. My current Boyfriend must be driven crazy by my constant accusations. But It's surely not something I am able to help. It's hard to trust anyone really nowadays, all the cheating and lying and hiding had made me realize how real the world really is. My father has been gone every night and things have been a little rough, but I'v been going to counseling to help me through this all. I always told myself I didn't need it but I'v found it as sort of a push and help to improve my lifestyle.
Though above all the constant nonsense my goals and priorities are still in place and I am still striving and working hard to reach them.
I'v got the good grades, the great relationship, a decent paying job, I'm nearly half done with my drivers education and learning to drive now and then all I have to do is wait to see where that takes me next. Things are starting to fall on the right track and I feel like the venting to my unread blog can stop.
I really adore the guy I am dating, I can't say we've ever fought, just the occasional need of reassurance I need from him on occasion. He is so talented and sometimes I hardly believe there's much for me to do to impress him, but I'm still trying to find ways to.
I'm constantly trying to find what I want to do with the rest of my life. Although when I do find what that is I know that's when i really need to work hard at achieving and maybe that will impress him, Especially if this "love" is what we say it is and we make it far enough for me to show him. I don't only want to just impress my boyfriend though but my dad too. He is hardly around now that he's love-struck and off with his new girlfriend all the time. I do everything in my power to grab his attention and show him what I'm capable of. I think as a 16 year old girl he underestimates how hard I can work and the range of feelings and emotions I can possess. I believe though if i work hard and not mess up I can really Go where I want and when I manage to become successful and happy that will really make him happy.
